It’s long been a cliché in American movies and culture-at-large that children blame themselves when their parents get divorced. Like many clichés, this one came into the mainstream mostly because it is true, and the potential exists for children to feel shame and guilt during the painful period of divorce as well as in its aftermath. Addressing these issues for children is very important and can be greatly facilitated through family therapy in Coral Springs. Most divorcing couples, however, tend to hope for the best, and allow these kinds of issues – particularly that of irrational but unresolved guilt and shame – to take plant in their children, which can manifest themselves in a multitude of unhealthy ways.
A child may feel guilty because a parent has inadvertently shamed him or because circumstances suggest the child has caused familial unhappiness by the fact of his mere existence. Couples who marry with the best intentions because of a pregnancy, for instance, may innocuously communicate that circumstance to a child, or even the idea that they are staying together and keeping the whole family miserable “for the sake of the children.” These two examples provide a brief idea as to why a child may feel guilt or even shame (guilt is feeling badly because of the effect they think they had on the family; shame is feeling like the effect was unavoidable because they themselves think they are broken, unlovable or bad).
Going to family therapy in Coral Springs is a first step to helping to resolve some of the interior conflicts that the child may have due to the pain of a divorce. Qualified therapists can help both children and her parent (or both parents) to understand why divorce is sometimes chosen, and why it is not the fault of the child. This can be achieved through creative therapy techniques that build the child’s self-image as a whole, healthy human person of inestimable worth who is both loved and lovable, thereby establishing healthy self-esteem. It is only through proactively addressing these kinds of issues in the safe context of a family therapy practice in Coral Springs that a child can resolve feelings of guilt and shame.
Divorce will still be difficult and painful for a child. Children seek and need security and reliability, which is usually established through routine and having their needs met. This structures their understanding of the entire world. When that breaks, it’s a blow to the confidence and understanding of any child. It’s important that children be attended to in order to work through that kind of fundamental shift in their view of the world.
